Cheap Ass Holland Lets Hossa Walk

R.I.P. Hockey in Detroit.

10:25 pm, Tuesday, June 30, 2009.

AAGO: Tailgaters Be Damned

The Ann Arbor Golf & Outing's 2009 Michigan Football Tailgating flier opens up with a boastful description of the wonderful atmosphere they promote on football Saturdays:

Michigan “tailgaters” for home football Saturdays park early, stay late and meet their friends under the trees.

I never knew tailgating until a few years ago. While I grew up watching Michigan football, I would watch GameDay in my living room, and then the early games in my dad's pro shop while working the tee line in the afternoons. When the weather got cold, I'd spend all Saturday watching college football on the couch. It wasn't until I enrolled at Michigan that I actually saw my first game from the corner of Stadium & Main. As a student, and spending some time with the team meaning Saturdays on the sidelines, there was no time for tailgating.

That all changed when MATW's own (one-time blogger) Kyle introduced me to the world of tailgating. Suddenly, Saturdays started as he swung by my house at 6:30 with an Egg McMuffin and we traveled the 2 miles to the AAGO course to wait for the gates to open. We would navigate down the hill, next to the sand trap and setup shop at a spot that has been occupied in some way, shape or form by our group for years. Moments later we would be joined by John, James, Sean and the crew, and the day would be underway. Once the tent was up, Kyle and I would chug that first early morning beer (now done via conference call.) It was a football experience that I had never had before. Hours of drinking, socializing, and celebrating Michigan football with dozens of friends and thousands of strangers. Naturally, I was hooked.

Slowly but surely, though, the AAGO has tightened the noose on the loyal tailgaters. It now costs $40 a car to park, a dramatic increase from what was only $10 merely a decade ago. We've had our share of run-ins with the friendly course workers as well-- nothing a couple of Sonny Corleone moments of tossing an extra $40 at their feet to get them off our back for our canopy space couldn't cure, though. Last fall, small written notices were given out, restricting canopy space. Suddenly, cars in the middle section of our fairway were being double and triple parked. There was little room for a game of catch, or an impromptu whiffle ball game. Still, it's difficult to complain when beer, hours of time outside with friends, and football are combined.

That is, until now. See, the AAGO just posted their list of 2009 Rules & Regulations, including these rather surprising changes:

• Canopies are allowed at no extra charge but must be no larger than 10' by 12' and must be placed at the front or back of your vehicle. Charges for canopies may be levied in 2010.

• For safety and efficiency, vehicles will be directed to specific spaces as they enter the grounds. Group parking at a favorite spot will no longer be allowed.

Instantly, thousands of loyal Michigan fans and longtime customers were outraged. Not so much at the canopy restriction. Sure, it's a minor nuisance for someone paying $40 to park, but it really was not a surprise. If anything, at least this formal restriction will end the arbitrary and capricious enforcement of the canopies that has existed over the last few years. The second bullet point, however, is an earth-shaker. So long, sand trap. Goodbye pine urinal shady pine tree. So long, large, enjoyable group tailgate where everyone meets at the same spot every week, every year. Instead, hello parking garage-like cash grab where cars are packed in closer than can be imagined and the AAGO lines their pockets with a few extra G's.

The policy in greater detail reads:

All vehicles will be directed by the parking supervisors to the section
they will occupy. Supervisors will open one section at a time and direct
vehicles to that section until it is filled. Due to traffic flow and safety
concerns, we no longer allow group parking at a favorite spot.
Off-duty sheriffs will be assigned to work with parking supervisors to insure
vehicles use the spots to which they are directed. Parking patrons who
do not follow directions will be moved or removed from the premises.

So much for "Michigan “tailgaters” for home football Saturdays park early, stay late and meet their friends under the trees."

I am disgusted over such a slap in the face to the loyal customers of the AAGO who have tailgated in the same spot, with the same people for years(some on whom are known only because of their familiar location on Saturdays- who doesn't recognize the balloon "Ufer" zeppelin that flies from the same location during every Michigan home game?) This policy was implemented because the AAGO continues to expand on their unofficial policy of greed and hypocrisy. Instead of thinking about how to raise revenue without alienating customers, the AAGO jumped to the easiest solution. This "solution" was proclaimed loudly as a "win" for the customer. After all, they didn't raise rates! We don't have to pay more for our canopies! "Michigan “tailgaters” for home football Saturdays park early, stay late and meet their friends under the trees."

Yet, an amicable solution was staring them in the face. An easy win-win was passed up. As it is, the course has opened early for members to sneak in and snag their favorite spots. Why not charge a pre-paid season at $50/car for the right to come in 1/2 hour early and set up at a favorite spot? I know I would show up bright and early on WMU gameday with 4 crisp Franklins to hand over for this ability. Alas, it appears as we'll be relocating to a different, much less sentimental spot. The AAGO can pad their bank account with the cash from opposing fans and the bluehairs who love nothing more than to arrive at 11:30 for a noon kick. Hell, they don't have to deal with our whiffle ball game to get in anymore.

Additionally, the AAGO flier finishes with a nice slap in the face to church groups and youth sports organizations throughout the state. What better time than now to hinder their efforts to raise money? (Is there any hope they will get "proper authorization" without slipping a hundo or so to the AAGO?)

People who enter the course to gather bottles and cans will no longer be allowed on the course without proper authorization.

I encourage all tailgaters who enjoyed tailgates in the past with their friends to contact the AAGO and voice your displeasure with the rules, and to head elsewhere for your tailgates in 2009. So long, AAGO, you greedy bastards.

E-mail John White and share your displeasure: webmaster@aagoc.org
EDIT: parking@aagoc.org
Better yet, call them and tell them how much they suck: (734) 663-4044

The Vick/Stallworth/Plaxico Conundrum

With today's announcement of Donte Stallworth reaching a plea deal on his DUI/Manslaughter charges, a significant amount of people are up in arms trying to make a comparison to the Michael Vick situation. The fact that Stallworth is only going to serve 30 days in jail has somehow drawn people to make the leap that "human life is being valued less than dogs." This is a terrible inference to draw and is highly inaccurate.

First...it is difficult to analogize being prosecuted by the feds and being prosecuted by a local prosecutor. The DOJ convicts at roughly a 98% rate. They are out for blood. Local prosecutors are not quite as focused as the feds are. Vick wasn't prosecuted because he happened to kill a few dogs. Vick helped fund and was involved in a sophisticated, high-dollar, multi-state organized crime ring. Vick's initial charges were brought up under RICO (Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act.) He wasn't just out shooting Fido.

Conversely, Stallworth made a horrible error in judgment that resulted in the death of a human being. But, the statute his charges were brought up under are specific to alcohol. So...if you or I were driving and hit someone in the exact same situation as Donte did, but were sober, we wouldn't be facing the same charge (if any.) So, it hinged on alcohol being the cause for the accident. But, the victim was not in the crosswalk at the time of the accident, putting some comparative fault on his shoulders. Now there was a question of fact as to whether or not the alcohol was the cause of the accident. Just because Stallworth was drunk does not mean that he deserves to spend a significant time in jail for an accident that may have happened had he been sober. The comparative fault is huge here.

Not to mention intent. There's a big difference between a guy who has too much to drink and tries to drive home and takes a life and someone who makes the decision to operate an illegal operation and cruelly kill animals with his bare hands. It isn't a situation of valuing animal life over human life, rather the state of mind of the individual. Clearly, a family losing a father, husband, son...is much more egregious than the loss of an animal. But it is the manner in which the death came about that makes the situations different, and the punishments fit the crime. Stallworth would've been on the hook for a large wrongful death suit with a lower burden of proof than his criminal trial had he not settled (and wisely done so prior to his day in court.) The settlement is rumored to be in the vicinity of $5M, so he didn't get off lightly.

That said, I'm not ready to crucify Mike Vick anymore. I was one of the more vocal critics when he was initially convicted and still am appalled at what he did. But, he's done his time and deserves a second chance.

Speaking of second chances...as much as I want to, I just can't get behind the whole Plaxico Burress prosecution. It reeks of a witchhunt. While I should be loudly cheering (after all, Plax has kept a national championship ring off of my finger and denied my favorite team in all of sports the greatest season ever) for this guy to be put behind bars, it's nothing but a publicity ploy by NYC. There's no way that the average Joe would be facing this level of scrutiny over Burress's crime. Plax should miss a few games (time served from his NYG suspension) and then be back on the field after a wake-up call.

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