Sky is Blue, Satellite Campuses Embarrass Themselves Again

A while back, we opined on the ridiculous protest that students at the satellite campuses (e.g., students not at The University of Michigan) were putting up regarding being denied tickets to football games at the Big House. Our reasoning went something like…you got denied from Michigan, Michigan State, Central, Eastern, Western, and Wayne County Community College, so stop trying to go to our football games. Aren’t 17 ACTs contagious? We got responses from defensive satellite grads, eagerly trying to justify in some way, shape or form that they were indeed “Michigan” alums. (Which they are not.) It still would’ve been mildly amusing to watch a UM-Flint student try and enroll in classes fall semester in Ann Arbor. “But, but, but, I go to Michigan!” Anyways, we digress a bit.

The ticket problem, at least for UM-Flint, appears to be solved. While it’s a week or two old, we just couldn’t pass up a chance to comment on these clowns and their “football team.” It seems like we won’t have to worry about the whining coming from UM-Flint students being denied tickets for the REAL University of Michigan, because they have a team of their own they can support, complete with ridiculous uniforms that are strikingly appropriate for their inferior education. So, UM-Flint students, stick to supporting the team with the, er, winged flame on the helmet. And forget about tickets, you can go ahead and use the thin letter you received from Ann Arbor as admission to the game. We hear it doubles as a student ticket in East Lansing, too.

It appears as though due to recent attention to their helmet (chiefly: it looks ridiculous) the Flinters have issued a statement "explaining" it:

In response to recent attention to the helmets, we figured we should share the story of why we altered the look of the traditional winged helmet. The University of Michigan - Flint Football Club strives to create our own image, but one that reflects back on the on the great history in which Michigan Football has enjoyed. In doing so, we used a wing design but changed it to look like flames or as we call it 'blaze'. The blaze is our combination of Blue + Maize.

Wow. A couple of things: UM-Flint should strive to create their own image, because they are not Michigan. They need not reflect back on the great history in which Michigan Football has enjoyed any more than Michigan State, Eastern, or UCLA should reflect back on that history. Because it is history belonging to the University of Michigan, not a glorified community college in Bosnia Flint. Never, ever, should "blaze" exist. We need to get a cease and desist on this abortion immediately. It figures that the satellite campus can't even do make-believe football right.

NOTE: Their "GO BLUE" banner is a cute knock-off, too. It is certain to strike fear in the likes of Macomb Community College, DeVry, and the University of Phoenix.

Also, in an effort to maintain a good relationship with our readers from the satellite campuses, we've decided to compile a list of folks just like you...who don't go to the University of Michigan:

1. Barack Obama

2. Terrell Owens

3. Godzilla

4. Yosemite Sam

5. An inanimate carbon rod